June 25, 2002 journal, Take authority in prayer, stress altars health, be diligent, Scriptures.

Take hold of the horns of the altar and pray to God sincerely. God is ever present and not just passive. I find it difficult to concentrate on God in prayer. I feel a need to write my prayer. Never pray selfishly. Always praise God first and foremost. God knows our every need and He will supply it. Bind Satan when we pray, we have that power. I believe God put a block in front of me in the Dome deal and I pray if it be his will that I may fulfill this commission. It seemed so simple to step on the boat but got complicated as I neared the threshold being so huge a project to buy, move and repair such a big tall wide structure.

All things are possible with God and now I can expect a miracle to happen with my vision to paint the Revelation scene a thousand times more intense than I saw it before. Am I to suffer defeat forever or turn defeat into victory. God put it so near for me I thought but I failed to step in the waters while they were troubled. Who have I failed that would see and believe. May I be true dear Lord to my conviction and complete my service well. I feel that I have done nothing yet, that everything is in the future to do for the Lord our God.

It was meant to happen to me to try me to the very cliff of the rock. I cannot sleep and I am having nightmares when I do fall asleep. People appear that I have not seen for years. The demons of hell are knocking on my door trying to destroy my body and if they cannot have my soul. Never since we lost it all have I suffered such deep denial and pulling at my heartstrings. My immune system is shutting down and I must escape this crisis and stop letting my mind tear me apart. I will emerge from this a new person. I have survived this same crisis before. In the middle of the night I now lay on my face before the Lord and I cried out for mercy and grace defying Satan's power from coming against me and claiming victory over this defeat. The devil is sifting me like wheat and God is allowing me to be tried to the very edge of my breath with great drops of sweat and turmoil up and down my spine. I must be relieved and separated from this thought pattern and focus on the positive

to survive. I must recommit all I have to God in his service and remember that He is Lord of my life. In my anguish I tried to substitute a tent for the dome but it costs 3 times more.

One mistake turns a life upside-down and takes an appetite away. My relationship with God is being reestablished and made stronger. I feel great victory inside of me coming.

Completing the scripture from I Samuel 26-21" then said Saul, I have sinned: return, my son David: for I will no more thee harm, because my soul was precious denies this day: the whole, I have played the fool, and have appeared exceedingly ". Psalm 92-6 "A brutish man know it's not;" Proverbs 10-18 "He that hideth hatred with lying lips". Proverbs 12-29 "He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind:" Proverbs 12-15 " but he that Parkinson's and to counsel is wise. 16-A fool's wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covered shame". Proverbs 15-5 "But he that regardeth reproof is prudent". Proverbs 19-10 "much less for a servant to have rule over princes". Proverbs 22-9 "for he giveth of his bread to the poor". Matthew 5-22 "But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: And whosoever shall say to his brother, right,, shall be endanger of the council: but whosoever shall say, thou fool, shall be in danger of hellfire". Luke 12-20 " This night thy soul shall be required of thee; Then who's shall those things be which thou hast provided? Isaiah 26-11 "Lord, when thy hand is lifted up they will not see: but they shall see, and be ashame for their envy at the people: yea the fire of thine enemies shall devour them". 12 Lord, thou will ordain peace for us: for thou also has wrought all our works in us". Live happy and free for all to be.